Monday, February 23, 2009

Stress Management Tips from the Masters

Just in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological tests.

The funny thing is that it works.


1. Picture yourself near a stream in the mountains.


2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.


3. No one knows your secret place.


4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called the world.


5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.


6. The water is crystal clear.


7. You can easily make out the face of the person you are holding under the water.




See. You're smiling already.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Biochem Pick-up Lines

Wow. Never knew nerds could be such pervs.



If I were an enzyme, I'd be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

You're so hot, you denature my proteins.

Can I be the phasor to your electron and take you to an excited state?

You must be gibberelin, because I'm experiencing some stem elongation.

You make my anoxic sediments want to increase their redox potential.

Hey baby, will a little more alcohol catalyze this reaction?

I will fondle your vesicles while you caress my golgi body.

I want to work on your leucine zipper with my zinc fingers.

You're hotter than a bunsen burner set to full power.

If I were a neurotransmitter, I would be dopamine so I could activate your reward pathway.

Hey, wanna put your alpha helix in my beta barrel?

Hey baby, why don't you get your ligase working on my okazaki fragment and lengthen my strand.

Hey, are you an alpha carbon, because you look susceptible to backside attack!

Do you want to extract some protein from my column?

According to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your hotness with me.

Everyone knows its not the size of the vector that matters, but the way the force is delivered.

How about me and you go back to my place and form a covalent bond?

We can make a mess as I've hired some lysosomes to clean up after.

Why don't we measure the coefficient of static friction between me and you?

Please have a smooth endoplasmic reticulum but know that I like it rough, if you know what I mean.

I also prefer my ribosomes bound...tight. Spin me round with your basal body and make sure it's turgid.

Do you like aerobic respiration as much as I do?