This past year was mostly filled with too much of my whining. Maybe my expectations were so high (from the intense experiences of 2006) and I just wouldn't move to reach my goals, that I wound up feeling like a loser in 2007. I have a lot of excuses, but I know I can't blame them for what actually happened in my life. It was the collective effect of bad decisions, pessimism, and out-of-place-perfectionism. I've kept moaning about all the regrets I had/have, but then I never mustered enough self-discipline to bring about the changes I wanted.
Of course, I had some ups as well. I graduated college. I was able to drive a bit more. Friends lent their hearts, time, and muscle to get me through very rough times as I started med school. I slowly got the hang of surviving the new school. I made new friends and found new role models. I believed in the power of crushes. I read Book Seven of Harry Potter. I found myself able to hold on to money. I managed to adapt. I opened my eyes. I find myself becoming more mature. I see the emergence of character and conviction. Maybe I have tons to be thankful for, but I'm too stubborn to recognize them as little miracles or blessings-in-disguise.
So no matter what the stars say, I vow to be braver, more caring, more dedicated, more disciplined, more loving, happier, more grateful, a better friend, a better sister, a better daughter, a better member of the community, and a better child of God. I know I can reach for even bigger things but I know I must work harder, play even harder, and enjoy and learn.
Happy New 2008.
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