Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Discounting all the little things that made the flow of work a little more challenging, starting the second year in med school was quite...benign. Note the use of the term "little things." The term applies not to the important details that matter so much in the long run/for the bigger picture, but the petty insecurities, normal inconveniences (in the words of a nurse in a medical ethics forum, "complexities of life"), and existing consequences of past actions that would ruin my mood if I let them. No time for any worthless whining or draining drama. This time around, it's just a matter of taking the "truly-really-seriously-no BS-important" things as they come and blending that with skills/capabilities/abilities/talents, to be able to allow myself to bridge the gap between status quo and what I imagine to be a better state. This endergonic process (should it be exergonic, I don't care at the moment) derives its energy from the exhilaration I've experienced from the liberating realization that I have an identity, and has produced a great many wonderful products, including positive vibes that would help sustain what my third year friends call "One Big Fight (towards finally wearing the v-neck uniform)." The overflowing optimism at the moment is coming from the sheer amazement of being able to affirm myself through life experiences and being able to start to unify what has seemed to me as a life filled with great entropy. And probably getting enough me-time, down-time this summer.
Enough chemspeak now.