Four Months Down

Fun! Done with 123 days on internship so far! :)

For those 123 days, I've learned to become a monitoring machine, a med-tech, a counselor, a nurse, a secretary, a social worker, a child psychiatrist, a rectal examiner, a retractor b*tch, a blood runner, a vein stripper, a pseudo-anesthesiologist, an EMT, a rad tech, a bullet extractor, a research assistant, and a nose job model.  A colorful road to becoming a full-fledged doctor don't you think? :)

(Forgive the random rambling. I have a headache and too much fastfood in my blood.)

Little Blessings

For every whine of every day, I get little blessings in return. Gotta love the Big Person Upstairs for throwing the little surprises to keep my spirits up.


Like I got a Sunday with my family, which is quite rare because the universe somehow conspires to make my duty days fall on Sundays most of the time.  We ate a lovely lunch at The Old Spaghetti House in Robinson's Otis; thin crust cheese and pepperoni pizza, hearty spaghetti, pesto pasta, calamares, nachos, and chocolate chip cookie a la mode.  Our family then headed over to our ancestral home in Sampaloc to celebrate my sister's birthday with pancit palabok and mocha-chocolate cake.  I had a chance to play with our family's lovable askal Cloud, who loved horseplay and belly rubs (and took extra care to keep his paws off my hospital whites.)

Monday found me finishing chart rounds early (as most patients were out-on-pass, given the long weekend), being a research assistant for a greater part of the morning, then off at noon.  My aunt sent me a message inviting me to go around the mall with her, which I accepted.  Spent a good part of my afternoon eating (a delicious grilled burger, chunky fries, enchiladas, and chips), browsing shops, and snagging two new tops.  I also got a haircut (my first in about eight weeks); the stylist happily lopped off about 8 inches of frizzy hair off, leaving me looking about 5 years younger. Teehee.  Since it was late, I opted to go home to the ancestral house in Sampaloc to sleep, but not before watching a bit of TV, eating some cashew roca, and browsing through gossip rags.

Today, again finished chart rounds early, interviewed two more patients for the study, had the funniest encounter in the plastic surgery office (where a patient pointed to my nose and asked for similar nostrils), and observed in the pre-op conference. Lunch was followed by a short nap, then a visit to my friend in Tahilan.  Back at my dorm, I took a nice shower then dinner. Now I'm just checking my email and producing this post.

So far, I've had this great stretch of little blessings and I am more than thankful for everything that came my way.  They are such great pick-me-ups because the previous weeks weren't quite as restful.

Heartless

About 100 days into my internship in the national hospital (also known as 100 days of being a glorified aliping sagigilid or scut monkey), I was ready for a break.  I noticed that I was becoming less compassionate towards patients and their bantays, and such greatly bothered me because I'm usually the person who would find any and every way to make sure that a patient got a radiologic procedure, labs, or medications.  Helping the really needy is a noble job, however, the health care situation here is far from ideal, so things become draining and feel futile after a while.  I guess that truth finally sunk in and has me all but scrambling to get back into the slightly more civilized world of private practice.

I guess it was encountering a certain subset of patients on a daily basis that had me figuratively throwing my hands up in defeat and saying "fuck all this."  Ever heard of the phrase "mahirap tumulong sa mahirap?"  I particularly am bothered by patients (and bantays) who come in and demand top notch care (and whatnot), yet refuse to move a muscle when the time comes to do their part.  We need them to register, go to social services, submit labs, get radiologic requests approved, buy the medications or needs, while we doctors tend to the patient's most immediate needs; some of these bantays are content to watch or want us to do those things mentioned, which is unfair and impossible because we're tending to a good number of other patients who need urgent care as well.  I particularly loathe those people who are exceptionally rude and feel so entitled.  There are times I want to scream at them, "you're not even paying your taxes!"  I guess being constantly exposed to the harsh urban life bestows a certain mean (cue in Taylor Swift now) attitude on them, that they can't help being that way, much to their detriment and our dismay.  In the beginning, I tried to reason with this people in the sweetest possible way, but repeated "fail" moments have me abandoning the attempt.  I'm not ashamed to say that there were times I had to raise my voice and put on a mega-frowny face to get things moving.

Gah, being a doctor is such a thankless job.  I don't want the negativity from this people to influence my life but I think I'm beginning to turn into a heartless automaton bee-yotch.

Graduation Day

I finally and formally appended Doctor of Medicine to my name last Monday.

I felt like everything that happened that day was so unreal but so very happy.

Thank you to everyone who supported me through this wild ride. :)

Baccalaureate Mass for the Quadricentennial Batch Fireworks

Doctor of Medicine

I have hurdled the oral revalida.

Praise God.

I can attach M.D. to my name now.

Friends are Love

Okay, so this family photo is not complete but it would have to do for now.  The schedule gods conspired to give me a free day to spend with my barkada from UP Manila.  I hadn't seen most of them in about 3-4 years already, so I was really raring to go.  We went to the Taguig area to celebrate Daal's birthday, first visiting the exhibit of plastinized human bodies entitled "Myth of the Human Body,"  proceeding to enjoy iced coffee and a (long) game of Dutch blitz at the Starbucks store near St. Lukes Global, and then enjoying a sumptuous dinner at 1771 Sentro.  I love my UP family!

I ♥ Purple

Isn't it a bit OTT?

I really really really LOVE purple.

Gossip is not Glamorous

Gossip is something I've never enjoyed because I associate it so much with irony and bigotry.  Strong words, eh?  I don't like being around people who have nothing better to do than talk about other people, often in negative ways.  I just don't get how people feel that gossiping about others and finding malicious amusement in it help strengthen bonds of friendship.  I don't get how people love pointing out how this other person acted out of the ordinary and how they start treating the said person with less respect just because the person was different.  I don't get how people take out their "rulers" and judge people based on their often imperfect scales.  I don't get how some people use gossip to confront another, just because they were too uncomfortable to talk to the person directly.  I don't get how people try to make themselves feel better by comparing themselves with others; such action reeks of insecurity, in my humble opinion.

Gossiping to buttress one's ego is never glamorous, no matter how chic the clothing/shoes/bags/hair/makeup of the person doing the deed.  It becomes more irritating when people condemn other people based on traits that they possess themselves.  There are more things, tangible or not, that would make anyone feel better or be more productive than gossip.  If anyone would have nothing constructive to say, I don't think it's right to just blather about for the sake of having something to say.  I wish people would be reminded of such, each and every single day.

Humility, Respect, and Appreciation

Humility, respect, and appreciation.  These are basic values that we student doctors are taught throughout the four years of medical school, and hopefully will carry beyond those four years. Humility, respect, and appreciation. Values we apply in all the things we do during our ward work, our emergency room duty hours, and everything else that happens within the hospital.  Humility, respect, and appreciation. Values that help us survive the toxic environment with our dignity intact.  Humility, respect, and appreciation.  These are gentle reminders that we and many others can fall prey to the illusion of knowledge.